"Padded insides protect your iPod from shock and scratches. Intergrated belt clip lets you show off your style to the world. Data port lets you sync up and charge without skipping a beat. Positive-lock closure keeps your sensitive electronics from becoming road pizza. Reclaimed stainless steel from salvaged bikes helps protect resources and save energy. Full-sized headphone port for compatability up to 1/2 inch wide plugs." Link

Wooden iPod covers made by Peter Kinne

The Register have a collection of three truly awful corporate anthems.

"Our piece last week highlighting Dutch "media investment management" outfit MindShare's version of Donna Summer's She works hard for the money provoked a mini snowstorm of emails pointing us towards some truly Mephistophelean corporate anthems - musical works so hideous that prolonged exposure to them would certainly result in insanity and eventual death.

Well, we've spent a few hours in a lead-lined, soundproof room working through your recommendations, and have whittled these Melodies of Satan down to three contenders which we hereby provide in mp3 format for your listening pleasure..." Link

The sheer chilling grandiose operatic horror of the Glaucoma song won my vote, and yes,  I listened to them all, all the way through. The horror...

The contenders:

image courtesy : mac(3)

veg

Nice video of robots dancing.  Link : Via Google Video of the Day

Do-Ho Suh was born in Seoul, Korea in 1962.  He received a BFA in painting from Rhode Island School of Design and an MFA in sculpture from Yale University.  He has since had solo exhibitions at such venues as the Serpentine Gallery, London, Seattle Art Museum, the Whitney Museum of American Art at Philip Morris, and the Artsonje Center in Korea.  He has also participated in group exhibitions at the Baltimore Museum of Art, Museum of Modern Art, New York, and the 49th Venice Biennale, among others. Interested in the malleability of space in both its physical and metaphorical manifestations, Do-Ho Suh constructs site-specific installations that question the boundaries of identity.  His work explores the relation between individuality, collectivity, and anonymity.  The artist's work is represented in a number of major museum collections including the Museum of Modern Art, New York, the Whitney Museum of American Art, the Guggenheim Museum, and the Museum of Contemporary Art, Los Angeles.  Do-Ho Suh lives and works in New York City.  Link

Interview and video clips : Link

Do-Ho Suh's artwork has received widespread critical acclaim. It was included in Plateau of Humankind and in the Korean Pavilion at the 49th Venice Biennale; in Greater New York at PS1 Contemporary Art Center, NY; and in exhibitions at MoMA, NY; the Houston Contemporary Arts Museum, Houston, TX; and the Biennale of Sydney, among other institutions. He has had solo exhibitions at the Serpentine Gallery, London; the Seattle Art Museum; the Kemper Museum of Contemporary Art, Kansas City; and the Whitney Museum of American Art at Philip Morris. His first one-person exhibition in Korea was held at the Artsonje Center, Seoul, during the summer of 2003, and his work is included in the 2003 Istanbul Biennale." Link

"The whole program was basically pushing your psychological and physical limits to extremes, so actually you can kill someone. And, you know, that whole experience was very difficult to swallow. It’s a process of dehumanization." Link

More Links :
49th Venice Biennale: Do-Ho Suh
Guardian article
Artnet
Do-Ho Suh at Lehmann Maupin - New York

The happy fluffy flower people from monochrom.

Oh OK, actually I'm lying their stuff is usually more like this:

" We could have called our blog something else, for example 'Sir, I never promised you a Roswell Report, Sir!' or 'New Austrian Dark Wavers, We're On Our Way!' or 'Hunger Is The Best Cook' or 'Psychoanalysis Is Only A Shabby Generative Tool!' or 'Jesus Loves You More Than You Will Know (Wo Wo Wo)!' or 'Aestheticize What's Trying To Break You!'. No! No! No! We just call it [The Blog]. "

trixiebedlam : full image

"These "anti-gravity boots" fit over shoes so that children can "seem to defy gravity" and "bounce across the yard like a Gazelle!" The manufacturer's safety instructions include the unrealistic directive to "always remain in control of your motions", and to use a "protective helmet as well as gloves, knee and elbow pads during use". Children pictured on the packaging have no protective gear whatsoever. " Link

"Whether for jogging, running or even walking, our AIR KICKS™ seem to defy gravity with every fun-filled step. While wearing athletic shoes, simply slip each foot into the open toe boot! Now start bouncing in place, or bounding across the yard like a herd of bolting gazelles. AIR KICKS™ feature high-traction treads that are safe to use on any surface, indoors or out, and won´t mar floors! Heavy-duty, interchangeable rubber T-Springs transform downward energy into bouncing motions gentle on joints and bones. Not only do kids (and adults) love the cushiony motion, it´s easy to burn calories, build coordination and strengthen leg muscles! " Link

The Air Kicks boots from Seattle based Geospace International have been voted into the top 10 most dangeous toys by Watch. But don't you just wish they made these in adult sizes?

For the full list click here: Top 10 Worst Toys 2005

Some great paper projects from Kenji Eno

Paper Mac PDF                       paper iPod PDF

Amazing new research from MIT shows that tin foil hats may not be as effective as previously thought. "Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as the protective measure of choice against invasive radio signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000 network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands reserved for government use according to the Federal Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have started the helmet craze for this reason." Link

A tip of the foil hat to Zack

The Flying Spaghetti Monster is the sole deity in the monotheistic religion known as Flying Spaghetti Monsterism (FSMism pronounced 'effessmisum'). It has widely been accepted as fact that this, and only this is the true religion, just as the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the true Creator and Overseer.

Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is the true religion. Much like the trickster, God, of Christianity, the Flying Spaghetti Monster also deceives the scientific world. This is possible only because the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the only all-powerful being, and only all-powerful beings can change laboratory results unbeknownst to their finders, showing that the Flying Spaghetti Monster must, in fact, exist. Bear in mind that His ways are mysterious, and there are numerous texts that explain why.

There are at least ten million and one Flying Spaghetti Monsterists in the world today, but because of the scorn they receive, they are often in hiding, afraid to reveal themselves to the world. However, a recent movement by Bobby Henderson, the foremost expert on Flying Spaghetti Monsterism and descendant of The Codifier shows promise in bringing them into the spotlight. Link

The Church of the Flying Spagetti Monster was established in June 2005 as a reaction against the inclusion of the theory of Intelligent Design in the American science curriculum, and is now rapidly spreading across the globe. It has even invaded the dreaming spires of Oxford. Link

There are many strands of thinking within the many forms of the faith but there is a general concensus that September 19th,  otherwise known as talk like a pirate day,  is the most sacred day of the year.

Do you prefer the internet to network news? Do you generally go online to check on the latest trends and information? Are you a fan of blogs? Do you appreciate a lighthearted, even irreverent take on current events? But do you hate being tied to your computer? Then MobuzzTV may be just what’re looking for.

MobuzzTV wants to raise of the current type of vlog in two ways. Firstly, in terms of content: we aim to produce more highly structured, informative daily clips. Secondly in terms of format: while MobuzzTV is accessible online, it is specifically formatted for use on a mobile phone. While changing the concept of the vlog in these ways, it is still important to us to maintain the interactive aspect of the vlog, allowing users to comment on our programs and in that way adapt it to their tastes. MobuzzTV is creating an upscale commercial vlog for your mobile phone.

With a daily magazine, celebrity interviews, cyber news, and a variety of other features, we strive to keep you informed and entertained no matter where you are. MobuzzTV does not simply re-adapt conventional TV programming and place it on a mobile channel. Our creative process starts with the mobile phone as a TV device, not with a conventional stationary television. With conventional TV the spectator and media are stationary, with MobuzzTV the spectator and the media are mobile, and interactive.

A 30 min show from a regular news provider on a mobile phone will 1) kill your batteries, 2) distract you from what you should be doing (working!!) and 3) leave you squinting at the tiny, nearly unidentifiable images. MobuzzTV is specially tailored to your mobile phone, with bite size 3-minute programs, and content specially filmed for a small screen, and fresh daily content for the new generation of mobile users. With the MobuzzTV format you can download episodes either as they’re released daily or from our archives, allowing you to watch what you want, when you want, where you want. MobuzzTV makes mobile V.O.D. a reality.

MobuzzTV gives your mobile device a personality. Every day we present stories of interest to a globally-minded generation. Join our presenters Iria, Karina and Elisa as they talk tech, meet interesting people, visit European hotspots and comment on popular culture, all in the palm of your hand!" Link

Two Industrial Design students from the School of Design and Environment are the first Asians to win the prestigious Design Lab Award at the international Electrolux Design Lab 2005 competition.

Held in Stockholm, the competition is organised annually by the Electrolux Group in a bid to encourage students from around the world to design household appliances for the future. This year, participants competed to create the most outstanding new appliance concept for the home of 2020. 

The award winning design of third year students Gabriel Tan and Wendy Chua, beat entries from 3,000 other students from over 88 countries. Called Airwash, the waterfall-inspired washing unit is waterless and does not use detergents. Instead, it utilises negative ions, compressed air and deodorants to clean clothes.  By using atmospheric air and negative ions – a natural cleansing agent – it fights dirt and bacteria with nature's own weapon. Airwash is also designed to be placed anywhere in the home, instead of the designated laundry area.
 
According to the Electrolux Group, the Airwash design emerged as the winner because of "its intuitive, ecological and beautiful design. Airwash also does away with the expensive, time-consuming task of going to the dry cleaner."

Hmmmm they look professional - ewwww!

Alex Turner from Arctic Monkeys has been named the coolest man on the planet in NME's yearly Cool List.

The charismatic leader has knocked Babyshambles' Pete Doherty off the top spot. Doherty has fallen to sixth place, while his ex-Libertines partner Carl Barat, who shared the Number One place with the troubled singer in 2004, has fallen to Number Nine.

NME Deputy Editor Alex Needham said: "Featuring both elder statesmen and thrusting young turks, the NME Cool List is the one every musician wants to be on. Last year Pete Doherty and Carl Barat were joint Number One and 2005's list looks set to stir up even more controversy."

For the full list see this week's issue of NME, which also contains a free CD featuring many of the bands featured. The list below is what is reportedly the 'Cool List' but don't take my word for it.

1. (New) Alex Turner (Arctic Monkeys)
2. (New) Liam Gallagher (Oasis)
3. (New) Kanye West
4. (New) Antony (Antony and the Johnsons)
5. (9) Brandon Flowers (The Killers)
6. (17) Devendra Banhart
7. (1) Pete Doherty (Babyshambles)
8. (New) Jemima Pearl (Be Your Own Pet)
9. (New) Bob Dylan
10. (1) Carl Barat (The Libertines)
11. (New) Ian Brown
12. (New) Damon Albarn
13. (New) Ryan Jarman (The Cribs)
14. (New) Julian Casablancas (The Strokes)
15. (New) Ninja (Go! Team)
16. (New) Paul Epworth
17. (New) Billie Joe Armstrong (Green Day)
18. (New) Tom Atkin (The Paddingtons)
19. (New) Henry Harrison (The Mystery Jets)
20. (New) Gerard Way (My Chemical Romance)

When A GIRL died after a marathon session playing her favourite computer game, fellow devotees paid her the ultimate tribute.
Hundreds went online and staged a virtual funeral for her.
They directed their characters to a cathedral in the World Of Warcraft fantasy game and spoke in memory of her. The digital characters could be seen kneeling in rows, heads bowed.
The player, known only as Snowly, died last month after playing the game for three days with barely a break during a week-long national holiday in China. She must have had no sleep at all for over a week her online friends said she had one of the highest attendance rates in the online game.
But days before she died, Snowly complained of feeling exhausted as she prepared for a particularly difficult stage of the challenge.
Weeks later, a second gamer, who nicknamed himself Thereafter, died in similar circumstances.
The deaths are the latest in a growing number of tragedies related to excessive games-playing in Asia.

Read full story here http://www.refreshdaily.com/showthread.php?threadid=29782

Fast food chain McDonald's is attempting to woo adults back into its outlets in Japan with a gender-bending makeover.

Gone are the clown shoes and baggy overalls, swapped for red-and-white striped bikini and flowing dress. thigh-length leggings and high heels.
Hidekazu Sato, the ad man behind the campaign, denies he's changed Ronald, insisting he just 'played around with his costume'.
'Customers are calling her the female Ronald but that was not our intention.'

It is not the first time McDonald's has played around with its image. Faced with falling sales last year, it abandoned the golden arches logo on posters and replaced it with a question mark to get consumers to reconsider its appeal.

For the full story go to the Guardian Unlimited

"120 days ago LIVE 8 rocked the world. Whilst the boys and girls with guitars made some noise, 3.8 billion of you turned up, tuned in, or logged on to show you wanted to change the world.

Well 5 days after the LIVE 8 concerts - the G8 leaders met... and they had heard us. It was an historic meeting which achieved more than any G8 in history. These are the commitments that YOU helped the 8 most powerful men in the world to make...

• $50 billion more aid per year by 2010
• AIDS drugs to all those who need them, and care for all AIDS orphans
• primary schools for ALL children by 2015
• a commitment to protect 85% of vulnerable Africans against malaria
• and debt cancellation for 18 of the world's poorest countries

Oxfam reckons that if the G8 keep their promises, by 2010, these commitments will save 4.5million lives per year. You personally helped to make that happen. That's a hell of a result.

Now... the next part of this story is about to start - and there's another HUGE opportunity coming up. We HAVE to change the unfair trade laws so that people in extreme poverty have a chance to build themselves a future.

The crucial talks are happening right now, and the main man there is Peter Mandelson. The talks aren't going well - in fact they're in pretty desperate straits - and there's a real chance they're going to fail completely.

But we absolutely can't let that happen without one last push, and without letting them know that the people of the world still demand a result. Mandelson needs to know that we want him to do everything he can, and more, in the interests of the poor. You can tell him this in literally 30 seconds by clicking here and emailing him. Please do it RIGHT NOW - JUST CLICK - it's INCREDIBLY SIMPLE and if you do it, WITHIN 20 MINUTES YOUR PERSONAL MESSAGE WILL BE IN HIS INBOX. 2 million of you are getting this email today. That's a seriously powerful message. It's a real fight - but we need you once again to line up shoulder to shoulder with the poorest people in the world to stop them getting screwed.

We will NOT let our world leaders fail in their duty to stop the scandalous deaths we see on the news every night. Send the email. Do it.

Do it now. Click here.

Bob Geldof

P.S. If you'd like to relive LIVE 8, the official DVD is just out - all 16 hours of it - almost certainly the greatest live music recording ever released. To find out more click here."

Harvey and Jubs are the next additions to the Vortigern's Machine soft vinyl figure series.

Taken from James Jarvis' forthcoming comic novel, and standing approximately 30cm tall in their straight-brimmed baseball caps, Harvey and Jubs are large youths who loiter aimlessly on the street corners of Dullwich City.

They enjoy harassing the local youngsters and speak an unintelligible form of yoot-speak. Despite this they are really from good families, well brought-up with a decent education.

Sold separately...Jubs is the one with the 'J' chain! 

To to buy 'em click here

DJ Shadow, acclaimed hip-hop and electronica artist, and Obey’s Shepard Fairey, ‘street art’ pioneer, are proud to announce the release of this limited edition clothing and music project entitled “PUBLIC WORKS.”

This special box set includes five t-shirts, a brand new, full-length mix CD by DJ Shadow, a copy of Shepard Fairey’s book “Post No Bills,” stickers, buttons and other surprises. The PUBLIC WORKS box set is limited to 450 pieces.

THE BOX
The box itself was designed by Shepard Fairey and hand pressed by his print master in downtown LA. Each box is hand assembled, stamped and numbered.

THE T-SHIRTS
All T-Shirts in the box are short sleeve and made by American Apparel. They have been tagged at the Obey Clothing factory with Obey tags (XS excluded). All T-Shirts within the box run the same size. Sizes run XS-XXL. The T-Shirts are 100% cotton and tend to run a bit small. Within the box you will receive the first five shirts in the project "PUBLIC WORKS" T-Shirt series. Shirt #5 is exclusive to the box and will never be sold separately.

"FUNKY SKUNK" MIX CD
This new mix cd by DJ Shadow clocks in at over 60 minutes. It will not disappoint!

"POST NO BILLS" BOOK
It was 1989 when Shepard Fairey, a student at the Rhode Island School of Design, first created the now-infamous THE GIANT HAS A POSSE sticker. The black and white image of the huge wrestler's subdued and vacant stare became an underground icon and by the mid-90's about a half-million had been posted around the world. "Post No Bills" documents Shepard Fairey's career from his creation of the Giant phenomenon up to and including the advent of Black Market, a San Diego design agency Fairey formed with Dave Kinsey and Philip Dewolff. Today Shepard Fairey creates designs for Studio #1, produces Giant art, exhibits worldwide in galleries, and still keeps his Giant images on the streets.

Fire up your popup blockers and check out these eeerie images of airplane graveyards over here...

Outside Tuscon, Arizona in the Sonora Desert is AMARC, the Aerospace Maintenance and Regeneration Center. Here the U.S. Air Force mothballs planes until they either need them again or it's time to salvage them for parts. Whenever the U.S. sells surplus planes to foreign governments part of the sales pitch is that there will always have a ready supply of spare parts. Some are turned into pilotless drones and used for missile target practice.

There are about 4,000 planes in storage, most now from the Vietnam era. Apparently in the 60's there were still planes from World War II there.

More info over at http://www.modern-ruins.com/boneyard/index.html 

JET SKI FOR SALE GOOD Condition:

Designed with the graffiti artist, the ugly, fetichists and super heroes in mind comes the 'Sweat Anticon'.

On sale from December 1st at www.anticon.biz probably advisable not to wear this to Bluewater shopping shopping centre in Kent, UK

A French woman has admitted trying to open a plane door mid-flight to have a cigarette.

Sandrine Helene Sellies, who is afraid of flying, had taken alcohol and sleeping pills ahead of the flight from Hong Kong to Brisbane, Australia, aboard which she tampered with the emergency exit.

Sellies, who claims she has no recollection of the incident, pleaded guilty to endangering the safety of an aircraft.

Cool Hunting Camonanos - amazing! You had a chance to win one too over at coolhunting.com! but you missed that. They say stay tuned for them in there upcoming 'Holiday Gift Guide'. Check www.coolhunting.com for more info or goto Colorware for custom coloured Ipod coatings.

I had a quick scan and also found this over at http://www.valcenter.ch

And then I found these over at www.decalgirl.com

And then I realised that I was at work and spending time searching for Nano Camo Cases and had to stop...

"November 7, 2005 Siemens has announced a new colour display screen that can be printed onto paper or cardboard and is thin, flexible, and affordable enough to be included in books, magazines, labels, tickets, instructions, multimedia games embedded in the breakfast cereal box and a host of other traditionally “dumb” media where clarity of the message is vital – such as the dosage instructions on drugs, installation instructions for people who normally don’t RTFM ad infinitum – when the new technology reaches market in 2007, the convergence of media types will further accelerate with the possibility of video instructions incorporated into packaging, video-enabled print adverts, and printed magazines and books with multimedia capabilities." Full article

Do they have any idea how long we've been waiting to be able to surf the net with a cereal box while we eat breakfast?

Dave Pollard over at How to save the World has an exclusive on how G8 leaders were replaced using a top secret cloning process and provides full disclosure of the Strategic Dartboard System (SDS) a system used by many of the cloned world leaders. Link

Finally the truth is out...

No idea who's actually behind this website but they're armed with a bunch of labels and have been documenting their sign jamming activities. FuckThisWebsite

You can now join in and stock up on 'FUCK YOU' stickers although the guy behing the project says that they will not be responsible for irresponsibility. This is supposed to be about collecting funny images, not FUCKing up people's personal property. That's why the stickers are strong, but removable. Don't be an asshole and leave the stickers on signs around children's playgrounds.

I know... cheap people want to have fun too. If you're one of them, here's a few templates that you can print on full-sheet labels, and cut them yourself. Believe me, it's easier to just buy a pack from me, but whatever...

They've also got a book out called... wait for it...

Fuck This Book "FUCK POSTED SIGNS..." 
Juvenile, profane, and timeless, Fuck This Book collects images of real public signs that have been mischieveously altered by stickers bearing the most expressive of all four-letter words. Addictively hilarious, the results show a world persuasively transformed. Please Don't Fuck the Pigeons, indeed. What happens if one triggers the Automatic Sprinkler Fuck Off Valve? And is it any wonder The Fuck Depot is so popular? All photographs are unretouched—the result of countless hours on the hunt for the almost perfect sign, in need of just the slightest improvement. This is not social commentary. There is no message. It's not meant to offend, exploit, or embarrass anyone. All real stickers. All real signs. All in fun.

More info goto http://www.fuckthiswebsite.com/ 

Oh I nearly forgot. FUCK YOU!

"So I'm curious, my fellow creators. Since you and I are in charge of making a new world - not just breaking the old world - where do we begin? What stories do we want at the heart of our experiments? What questions will be our oracles?

Here's what I say: We will ignore the cult of zoom and boom. We will laugh at the stupidity of evil and hate, and summon the brilliance to praise and create. No matter how upside down it may all temporarily appear,  we will have no fear because we know this secret: Life is crazily in love with us - wildly and innocently in love with us.  The universe gives us exactly what we need, exactly when we need it.

Pronoia is our word of power,  the spell that we cast to shake ourselves awake again and again.  It's the antidote for paranoia. It's the brazen perception that all of creation is conspiring to shower us with blessings." pg.3 Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia.

There's an entertaining interview with Rob Brezny on the R U Sirius site the conversation with Rob starts about 9 minutes in. MP3

Mass Distraction is a series of three jackets (the Coin Jacket, the Hood Jacket and the Game Jacket) intended to provoke thought and discussion about the idea of presence: physical presence no longer guarantees a person’s availability and attentiveness. Nowadays the user of a mobile communication device often splits his attention between the people in his surroundings and the person to whom he's linked remotely. Often, in order to remain connected the people both near and far, the mobile phone user multitasks between the two communication channels. Whether disguised or not, this practice degrades the quality of the interaction with the people in his immediate presence.

The Coin Jacket - Instructions
1. In this jacket there is a mobile phone
2. In order to answer the phone, insert a coin in the upper-left pocket
3. The phone call continues, if you don't stop to put the coin in the pocket

The Hood Jacket - Instructions
1. In this jacket there is a mobile phone
2. In order to answer the phone, close the hood completely
3. The phone call continues, as long as you don't try to open the hood.

The Game Jacket - Instructions
1. In this jacket there is a mobile phone and a videogame
2. In order to answer the phone, hand the game to your friend
3. The phone call lasts as long as he keeps on playing

Check the short movies to get a proper idea of what is going on http://www.mass-distraction.org/

Exhibition
The Mass Distrcation jackets have been designed in order to be experienced and exhibited. At the typical Mass Distraction exhibition they invite people to try on the jackets. Once a visitor tries on a jacket, the phone embedded in the jacket starts ringing. The visitors, intrigued to answer the calling phone, are motivated to follow the instructions and interact in the requested way. While doing so they can hear via the mobile phone the story of each jacket. In order to listen to the whole story they have to carry on the interaction according to the instructions.

Credits Mass Distraction has been conceived and developed at the Interaction Design Institute Ivrea, since Spring 2004, by: Agnelli Davide & Drori Tal

more info go to http://www.mass-distraction.org/

The project is seeking couples who want to donate their bone cells - a couple having their wisdom teeth removed would be ideal. Their cells will be prepared and seeded onto a bioactive scaffold. This pioneering material encourages the cells to divide and grow rapidly in a laboratory environment, so that the scaffold disappears and is replaced by living bone tissue.

The couple’s cells will be grown at Guy’s Hospital and finished bone tissue will be taken to a studio at the Royal College of Art to be used in the design of a pair of rings. Following consultation with the couple, the bone will be combined with traditional precious metals so that each has a ring made with the tissue of their partner.
Funding has been awarded by the Engineering and Physical Science Council (EPSRC) as a part of their Partnership for Public Awareness initiative. The project will culminate in September 2005 with a live debate at the Dana Centre, a part of London’s Science Museum, and an exhibition at Guy’s Hospital, part of Guy’s and St Thomas NHS Foundation Trust. The exhibition will include the rings, documentary photos of the couple, and time lapse film of cell growth.
The seven stages of the project are described here in more detail. Visit the website to find out more about the processes, technology and ethical debates surrounding Biojewellery.

Designing the jewellery with the couple
The couple will play an important role in the design of their rings. We are interested in how the working relationship between designers and couples sheds light on scientific processes. As we attempt to work-up their ideas, we will explore what is possible, and are likely to come up against a range of problems.

While we expect to be able to solve some things, there are likely to be compromises elsewhere, and sometimes we will need to go down entirely different routes. The main thing is that the technology and science will take place within a practical and personal context. This will hopefully make it relevant and exciting.

Biojewellery Exhibition
The project will culminate in September with a live debate at the Dana Centre, a part of London’s Science Museum, and an exhibition at Guy’s Hospital, part of Guy’s and St Thomas NHS Foundation Trust. The exhibition will include the rings, documentary photos of the couple, and time lapse film of cell growth.

For more information visit http://www.biojewelry.co.uk/ 

Cornstarch, water and science together.. this is what you get!

Fluid wierdness. Be sure to watch the whole movie as it starts slowly and builds up to a crecendo of truly bizarre behaviour.

For more info go here: http://www.youtube.com/?v=CH6-2UizHfI

President George W. Bush shakes hands with "Albert Hubo" while Philippine President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo looks on during a tour of an IT exhibition at the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (APEC) forum.

The Albert Hubo was demonstrated at the IT Exhibition held at the APEC 2005 summit meeting hall in Busan, Korea. The robot looks very weird there are apparently 30 motors in the Albert Einstein head that simulate facial expressions.

You gotta give it to the Germans – very creative indeed...

These billboard advertisements were printed on special paper, with special ink that reacts to moisture, i.e. rain.

Following are 2 photos :

1. The billboard in ‘dry state’

2. The billboard, after it’s rained.

Genius!

www.playboy.de

IT IS the kind of story you hear from a friend of a friend — how, after a long night in a rural hostelry and at a loss for entertainment in the countryside, they head out into a nearby field.

There, according to the second-hand accounts, they sneak up on an unsuspecting cow and turn the poor animal hoof over udder.

But now, much to the relief of dairy herds, the sport of cow-tipping has been debunked as an urban, or perhaps rural, myth by scientists at a Canadian university.

Ms Boechler, now a trainee forensics analyst for the Royal Canadian Mounted Corps, concluded in her initial report that a cow standing with its legs straight would require five people to exert the required force to bowl it over.

A cow of 1.45 metres in height pushed at an angle of 23.4 degrees relative to the ground would require 2,910 Newtons of force, equivalent to 4.43 people, she wrote.

Dr Lillie, Ms Boechler’s supervisor, revised the calculations so that two people could exert the required amount of force to tip a static cow, but only if it did not react.

“The static physics of the issue say . . . two people might be able to tip a cow,” she said. “But the cow would have to be tipped quickly — the cow’s centre of mass would have to be pushed over its hoof before the cow could react.”

Newton’s second law of motion, force equals mass multiplied by acceleration, shows that the high acceleration necessary to tip the cow would require a higher force. “Biology also complicates the issue here because the faster the [human] muscles have to contract, the lower the force they can produce. But I suspect that even if a dynamic physics model suggests cow tipping is possible, the biology ultimately gets in the way: a cow is simply not a rigid, unresponding body.”

Another problem is that cows, unlike horses, do not sleep on their feet — they doze. Ms Boechler said that cows are easily disturbed. “I have personally heard of people trying but failing because they are either using too few people or being too loud.

“Most of these ‘athletes’ are intoxicated.”

£25bn SITE THAT HAS US ALL BUYING & SELLING

IT has become the world's most popular way to window shop and is turning us into a nation of online auction addicts.

As eBay celebrates its 10th birthday, it has grown from a computer geek's hobby to a £25billion business.

With 157 million registered users worldwide there are, at any one time, three million items on sale in the UK alone and 22 million globally. The website gets 150,000 hits a minute.

Like a global car boot sale, you can put just about anything up for sale and someone will make you an offer. eBay takes a small percentage as commission.

Here's our 10 eBay Top 10s...

Priciest lots sold at auction

1. In 2003, a 340-year-old copy of Shakespeare's Pericles, Prince of Tyre, which survived the Great Fire of London in 1666, was snapped up for £5million.
2. A 12-seater Gulfstream II jet went for £3.2m in 2001.
3. A Ferrari Enzo sports car - one of only 399 built - sold for £544,000 in 2003.
4. In 2002 an 82-acre town, Bridgeville in California, was sold for £531,250.
5. A silver VW Golf once owned by Pope BenedictXVI fetched £128,000 this year.
6. A handbag once owned by former Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher fetched £103,000.
7. A drill which helped dig the Channel Tunnel sold for £39,999.
8. Lady Penelope's Rolls-Royce from the original Thunderbirds TV show sold for £20,000.
9. A 10-year-old sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary went for £17,500.
10. A decommissioned nuclear bunker in Pickering, N Yorks, sold for £17,100 in June last year.

Items you can't buy on site

1. KKK and Nazi memorabilia
2. Alcohol
3. Credit cards
4. Drugs
5. Fireworks
6. Human remains
7. Lottery tickets
8. Surveillance equipment
9. TV de-scramblers
10. Mailing lists

The weirdest items sold

1. A £5 note - which went for £6.99
2. GMTV girl Kate Garraway's half eaten banana fetched £1,650.
3. Chewing gum spat out by Britney Spears went for £270.
4. A half-empty bottle of hair colour once used by tragic grunge star Kurt Cobain fetched £175.
5. The 'meaning of life' was sold by a man in California for £1.72.
6. A bottle of holy water allegedly 'blessed' by rocker Ozzy Osbourne was bought for £12.50.
7. A branch of a tree that broke off during Elvis's funeral at Graceland in 1977 fetched £467.50.
8. Wayne Rooney's plaster cast after he broke his foot at Euro 2004 was sold for £2,000.
9. A 'haunted' painting in which the children allegedly come alive at night went for £543.
10. Mud from the Glastonbury Festival.

The great hoaxes

1. A grandma - offered for £1m. Accessories included a pair of dentures, three bottles of foot ointment and a rocking chair.
2. Leeds United Football Club. A mystery bidder pledged £10m.
3. Test tube allegedly containing MRSA and sold for 50p.
4. George Best's pickled liver.
5. Bread crust thrown from a Buckingham Palace window.
6. One punter tried to sell nothing for something... and failed.
7. Time machine for £14.26.
8. A wife for £1bn.
9. A pint of snow sold for £23.32. A disclaimer from the seller read: "I cannot guarantee that it will not melt in transit."
10. Millennium Dome for £10million. Seller said: "Buyer must pay for postage."

Sickest items

1. Five bones from a racoon's penis went for £2.64.
2. Nail clippings from 70s murderer Roy Morris.
3. A dead mouse in a bottle. Its reserve price of £1.50 was not met.
4. Used condoms.
5. The maximum bid for a used tampon was £1.25
6. Pubic louse parasite.
7. Jeffrey Dahmer doll with a stomach which could be unzipped to reveal who he ate for dinner.
8. Sperm.
9. A tin of faeces created in 1961 by an Italian artist.
10. Tiles from the pool where Rolling Stone Brian Jones died.

Lots that were once the stars'

1. Three tablespoons of water from a cup Elvis sipped at a 1977 gig were sold last year for £252 by Wade Jones of North Carolina.
2. A tooth said to have been pulled from Elvis Presley's mouth failed to attract the minimum £60,000 selling price in 2003.
3. A ball from Elvis's pool table went for £937.
4. A hanging plastic fern from Graceland sold for £395.
5. Singer Justin Timberlake's half-eaten French toast sold on the website for £1,971 with his fork and syrup thrown in.
6. Former Big Brother contestant Emma Greenwood sold her pink suitcase from the show for £1,950.
7. Rocker Bryan Adams's dirty socks went for £551 to a fan .
8. Christina Aguilera's used bathwater and thong made £810.
9. Socks with Christmas trees on belonging to Sir Cliff Richard, went for £80.
10. George Michael's 1991 black Range Rover with the registration number J5 STUD sold for £11,600.

Countries with most ebayers

1. USA
2. UK
3. Germany
4. France
5. Spain
6. Canada
7. South Korea
8. India
9. Australia
10. China

Most popular sale items

1. A CD sells every 11 seconds.
2. An item of women's clothing sells every 20 seconds.
3. Men's clothes sell every 30 seconds.
4. Toy cars go every 35 seconds.
5. A mobile phone is sold every minute.
6. A laptop sells every two minutes.
7. A handbag goes every 2.5 minutes.
8. Gold jewellery is snapped up every 2.75 minutes.
9. A car goes every four minutes.
10. Football shirts go every five minutes.

Items that bosses took off the site

1. Live 8 tickets. The charity tickets were available free by lottery.
2. A soul. In 2001 American student Adam Burtle tried to sell his soul. Bidding reached $400.
3. In January 2004, student Rosie Reid, 18, tried auctioned her virginity.
4. A kidney. Peter Randall of Kent tried to sell his organ for £50,000 to pay his daughter's medical bills.
5. Girls. In 2004 a Taiwanese man offered a starting price of £3,500 for three Vietnamese teenagers.
6. Debris from the doomed shuttle Columbia.
7. Videos of bare knuckle fights in Ireland.
8. Oxford University's Brasenose College. Bids on student David Green's prank reached £10m.
9. Debris from the World Trade Center appeared within an hour of 9/11.
10. Bids for footballer Kieron Dyer reached £10m after a Newcastle fan tried to sell him.

Gorillaz played a special week of gigs at Manchester Opera House

It was the first time Damon Albarn and the other musicians behind the band played the album (Demon Days) in its entirety live, and featured a series of special guests from the album including Shaun Ryder (DARE) and De La Soul (Feel Good Inc.).

The man behind the Gorillaz videos, Jamie Hewlett, created stunning visuals for every track of the show and you can watch them all here, or on Interactive TV, as well as listening to the gig online.

To see and hear a live recording of Demon Days go here http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/presents/gorillaz/#tv 
 

These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts of America, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

 ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
 WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
 ______________________________

 ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
 WITNESS: July 18th.
 ATTORNEY: Which year?
 WITNESS: Every year.
 _____________________________________

 ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
 WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
 WITNESS: Yes.
 ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
 WITNESS: I forget.
 ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
 _____________________________________

 ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
 WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
 ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
 WITNESS: Forty-five years.
 _____________________________________

 ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
 morning?
 WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
 ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
 WITNESS: My name is Susan
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
 WITNESS: We both do.
 ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
 WITNESS: We do.
 ATTORNEY: You do?
 WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
 ______________________________________
 
 ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
 WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
 ___________________________________

 ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
 WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one..
 ________________________________________
 
 ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
 WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
 ______________________________________

 ATT ORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
 WITNESS: Yes.
 ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
 WITNESS: Uh....
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
 WITNESS: Yes.
 ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
 WITNESS: None.
 ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
 WITNESS: By death.
 ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
 WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
 ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
 WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
 WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
 WITNESS: Oral.
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
 WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
 ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
 WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
 WITNESS: Huh?
 ______________________________________

 ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?
 WITNESS: No.
 ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the pati ent was alive when you began the autopsy?
 WITNESS: No
 ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
 WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
 ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
 WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Gary Johnston: We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don't like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes: assholes that just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. But the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick, with some balls. The problem with dicks is: they fuck too much or fuck when it isn't appropriate - and it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes, pussies can be so full of shit that they become assholes themselves... because pussies are an inch and half away from ass holes. I don't know much about this crazy, crazy world, but I do know this: If you don't let us fuck this asshole, we're going to have our dicks and pussies all covered in shit!

Spottswoode: Remember, there is no "I" in "Team America".
Intelligence: [pause] Yes, there is.

Gary Johnston: Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to get in your car and let you put your finger inside me. Then if I go down on you I get a movie part.

Spottswoode: Please, Gary, I'm not from Hollywood. I'm not going to fuck your mouth and my time is extremely valuable.

Gary Johnston: Jesus, this is a nice limo.
Spottswoode: Yes, it is. Now suck my cock.

Spottswoode: From what I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.N.C.E has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100.
Gary Johnston: 9/11 times a hundred? Jesus, that's...
Spottswoode: Yes, 91,100.
Chris: Basically, all the worst parts of the bible.

Spottswoode: Go get'em, cowboy.

Chris: All right, we fuckin' did it.

Spottswoode: Great job, team. Head back to base for debriefing and cocktails.

Lisa: Gary, you didn't kill your brother. Those gorillas did.

Kim Jong Il: I was sent from pranet Xiron to conquer the Earf / I had a twiffic pran - I thought it would work / I tried to get the Earfrings all to kill each other, y'see / But it all went wrong and now I must decree / You are worthress Arec Bardwin / You are worthress Arec Bardwin / You have faiwred in every way / and now my stock in you has fawren / Your career is stawrin' / and you're worthress Arec Bardwin / That's why I brew your head off / And your chirdren are all bawrin' / Pranet Xiron is inhabited with Xipods rike me / But arso with Balmacs who are giant bees / The Xipods and the Balmacs are at constant war / So we wanted a new home and that's what Earf was for / But you are worthress Arec Bardwin / You are worthress Arec Bardwin / You fucked up my whole plan / and now Xiron is smeared with Balmac porren / Your garbage needs some hawring / and you're worthress Arec Bardwin / Now I must return home a faiwrure / I'm afraid the pit of Cryrock is cawrin'.

Helen Hunt: Let's go, bitch. I've done action films!

[Deleted Scene]
Spottswoode: Team, this is all my fault. I was overzealous in Cairo. I let racism cloud my judgment. I was so sure the ultimate terrorist was Middle Eastern, but I didn't realize he was a goddamn Gook. I'll never be a racist again.

[first lines]
French puppeteer: Sacre bleu!
[gibberish]
French puppeteer: Oh, hello!
French Mother: Jean-Francois? Jean-Francois?

[Deleted Scene]
Gary Johnston: I'm leaving. I'm out.
Spottswoode: No, Gary! You can't leave! We need you now, more than ever!
Gary Johnston: Don't you see what's going on out there? Everyone hates us!
Spottswoode: Hey, now, everyone hated Winnie the Pooh, too.
Gary Johnston: No, they didn't!
Spottswoode: Well, I did. That cocksucking bear killed Jack Kennedy!

News Reporter: Team America has once again pissed off the entire world by blowing up half of Cairo

Carson: "The Terrorist" is getting away with the WMD.
Joe: I got him
[fires a rocket at the terrorist, it misses and hit's the Eiffel Tower causing it to collapse]
Joe: Damn, I missed him!

Chris: [not moving] I was nineteen years old when the musical Cats came to our town.
[Gary stops and listens]
Chris: I couldn't wait to see it. After the show I was asked if I wanted to go meet some of the performers backstage. Man, I was thrilled. But when I got back there, they were drunk and out of control. Rumpus Cat and Macavity kept feeling up my leg. I tried to leave, but, Rumpleteazer held me down, and... I was raped by Mr. Mistoffelees.

Chris: Let's get one thing straight, actor. I don't trust you. And if you betray us, I'll rip your fucking balls off and stuff them up your ass so that the next time you shit, you'll shit all over your balls, got it?
Gary Johnston: What's your problem with me?
Chris: Yeah, you wanna go?
Joe: Guys, guys, guys! Don't you see this is just what the terrorists want us to do? The war is out there, man! Out there! Now, pull it together!

[Repeated line]
Kim Jong Il: Do you have any idea how fucking busy I am?

Kim Jong Il: Now you see, the changing of the worrd is inevitabre!
Lisa: I'm sorry, it's what?
Kim Jong Il: Inevit, inevitabre.
Lisa: One more time.
Kim Jong Il: [shouts] Inevitebre! Jesus Christ, open your fucking ears!

Joe: Cairo... that's in Egypt.

Gary Johnston: OK, a limosine that can fly. Now I have seen everything.
Spottswoode: Really? Have you seen a man eat his own head?
Gary Johnston: No.
Spottswoode: So then, you haven't seen everything.

Kim Jong Il: I'm so Ronery / So ronery / So ronery and sadry arone / There's no one / Just me onry / Sitting on my rittle throne / I work very hard to be number one guy / but, stiwr there's no one to right up my rife / Seems rike no one takes me serirousry / And so, I'm ronery / A rittle ronery / Poor rittle me / There's no one I can rerate to / Feewr rike a biwd in a cage / It's kinda siwry / but, not reawry / because, it's fiwring my body with rage / I'm the smartest, most crever, most physicawry fit / but, none of the women seem to give a shit / Maybe someday, they'wr awr notice me / And untiwr then, I'wr be ronery / Yeah, a rittle ronery / Poor rittle me...

Samuel L. Jackson: Motha Fucka!

Chris: I'll drill two holes through your dick so that when you pee it shoots out in all different directions.

Guy in Bar: See, there's three kinds of people: dicks, pussies, and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along, and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want us to shit all over everything! So, pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck. And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!

Spottswoode: Attention. Attention, everyone. All you in the audience should go to your homes now. Your countries need you, but the world will be safe, thanks to a brilliant actor named Gary Johnston.
[Crowd applauses as Gary kisses Lisa]
Spottswoode: Let me explain to you the kind of man Gary is. He's a man who knows that when you put another man's cock in your mouth, you make a pact. A bond that cannot be broken. He's a man so dedicated that he will get down on his knees and put that cock right in his mouth.

Tim Robbins: Let me explain to you how this works: you see, the corporations finance Team America, and then Team America goes out... and the corporations sit there in their... in their corporation buildings, and... and, and see, they're all corporation-y... and they make money.

Kim Jong Il: It will be 911 times 2356.
Chris: My God, that's... I don't even know what that is!
Kim Jong Il: Nobody does!

[repeated line]
Lisa: Sometimes... believing is all we have.

song: ["End of an Act"] I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark, When he made Pearl Harbor. / I miss you more than that movie missed the point, And that's an awful lot, girl. / And now, now you've gone away, And all I'm trying to say, is: Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school, He was terrible in that film. / I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part, He's way better than Ben Affleck. / And now, all I can think about is your smile, and that shitty movie, too! Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you. / Why does Michael Bay get to keep on making movies? / I guess Pearl Harbor sucked, just a little bit more than I miss you.

Kim Jong Il: Now you see, the new world is inevitable.
Lisa: It's what?
Kim Jong Il: Inevit - inevitable.
Lisa: One more time?
Kim Jong Il: Inevitable! Things are inevitably going to change! Goddamnit, open your fuckin' ears!

Gary Johnston: Your skills are fading with age, Mrs. Sarandon.
Susan Sarandon: You will die a peasant's death!

Gary Johnston: [Gary sees the limo] Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to get inside your limo and let you put your finger inside me. And if I go down on you, I get a movie part.
Spottswoode: Uh, no. I just want to show you something.
Gary Johnston: Yeah I bet you do.
Spottswoode: Please, Gary. I'm not from Hollywood, I'm not going to fuck your mouth, and my time is EXTREMELY valuable!
[Gary gets in the limo]

Gary Johnston: I had to come back. C'mon team, let's go!
Joe: Wait a second, can we really trust you?
Chris: Yeah, why the fuck should we trust you, you douchebag?

Kim Jong Il: Hans Brix? Oh no! Oh, herro. Great to see you again, Hans!
Hans Blix: Mr. Il, I was supposed to be allowed to inspect your palace today, but your guards won't let me enter certain areas.
Kim Jong Il: Hans, Hans, Hans! We've been frew this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?
Hans Blix: Then let me look around, so I can ease the UN's collective mind. I'm sorry, but the UN must be firm with you. Let me in, or else.
Kim Jong Il: Or else what?
Hans Blix: Or else we will be very angry with you... and we will write you a letter, telling you how angry we are.
Kim Jong Il: OK, Hans. I'll show you. Stand to your reft.
Hans Blix: [Moves to the left]
Kim Jong Il: A rittle more.
Hans Blix: [Moves to the left again]
Kim Jong Il: Good.
[Opens up trap, Hans falls in]

Spottswoode: That was bad I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E., very bad I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.

Gary Johnston: HOLY SHIT! What happened to the base?
Intelligence: It was destroyed by a socialist weasel.

Joe: One of the terrorists is trying to tell us something.
[looks through binoculars]
Gary Johnston: [waving the distress signal towards Joe and Chris] It's me! It's me!
Joe: Looks like he's saying, "Kiss me! Kiss me!"
Chris: Smart-ass motherfucker!
[fires missile at terrorist jeep]

Kim Jong Il: [gibberish]
Translator: My lord said that if you did not understand what he said, then his translator translated it wrong, and that he should... fire his translator?
[Kim Jong Il shoots the Translator in the head]

Chris: Surprise, cockfags!

Tim Robbins: Actors!
[shouts]
Tim Robbins: Attack!
Helen Hunt: Helen Hunt!
Samuel L. Jackson: Samuel Jackson!
Matt Damon: Matt Damon!

song: The hour's approaching to give it your best / And you've got to reach your prime / That's when you need to put yourself to the test / And show us the passage of time / We're gonna need a montage / Ooh, it takes a montage / Show a lot of things happening at once / Remind everyone of what's going on / In every shot, show a little improvement / To show it all would take too long / That's called a montage / Girl, we want a montage / In anything, if you want to go / From just a beginner to a pro / You need a montage / Even Rocky had a montage / Always fade out in a montage / If you fade out it seems like more time has passed in a montage...

Spottswoode: Gary, if for some reason your cover is blown, and the terrorists take you prisoner, well, you'll probably want to take your own life. Here, you'd better have this.
[hands Gary a hammer]

Kim Jong Il: [to terrorists on a giant monitor] Who's responsibre for browing up Panama?
Terrorist: We were upset about Cairo.
Kim Jong Il: Goddamnit, how many times do I have to tehr you? You don't use the WMDs untihr you see the signahr! I have worked ten years on this pran! It is a very precise, and a compricated pran! I am sick of you terrorists fucking it up! Now take the weapons where I tord you and wait for the *goddamn* signahr this time! Goodbye!
[shuts off monitor, and cools down]
Kim Jong Il: Why is everyone so fucking stupid?

Terrorist: What do you know?
Gary Johnston: I heard there might be a large terrorist attack. If you tell me what it is, maybe I could help out.
Terrorist: Get out of here! We have put out a jihad on the infidels because they destroyed our lives. What do you know about pain and sadness?
[Gary pauses, recalls sounds of gorillas roaring]
Gary Johnston: I was just a boy when the infidels came to my village in their Blackhawk helicopters. The infidels fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah. Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched. I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed by the fiery black liquid death. In the midst of the chaos, I could swear that I heard my goats screaming for help. As quickly as they had come, the infidels were gone. It was on that day I put a jihad on them. And if you don't believe it, then you'd better kill me now, because I'll put a jihad on you, too.
Terrorist: I like you. You have balls. I like balls.

Gary Johnston: Bak. Derk-derk-Allah. Derka derka, Mohammed Jihad. Baka sherpa-sherpa. Abaka-la.
Terrorist: Ohhh! Derka derka derka!
[Allows Gary into terrorist hideout]

Joe: Shit! I've got five terrorists going southeast on Bakalakadaka Street!

Lisa: Hey, terrorist! Terrorize this!

Chris: If there's a world left when this is all over, I'd like to buy you a beer.

Lisa: I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E. is down! I repeat, we have no I.N.T.E.L.L.I.G.E.N.C.E.!

Chris: What does Spottswoode see in him?
Lisa: I don't know. But I think I see it too.

Sean Penn: Last year I went to Iraq. Before Team America showed up, it was a happy place. They had flowery meadows and rainbow skies, and rivers made of chocolate, where the children danced and laughed and played with gumdrop smiles.

Chris: If you betray us, I'll rip your fuckin' balls off and stuff them up your ass. So, the next time you shit, you'll shit all over your balls!

Spottswoode: Now hold on team, Gary has already proven to me that he is 100% committed to the team. He proved it last night by sucking my cock.
Joe: Uh... Alright then. Let's move.

Lisa: Gary, you can't blame yourself for what gorillas did.

Gary Johnston: But, I thought you weren't gay?
Spottswoode: This isn't about sex, Gary, it's about trust!

Joe: You remember the signal?
Gary Johnston: [waves arms like crazy]

Terrorist: You have balls. I like balls.

Spottswoode: Gary, meet Chris. He may lack in courtesy, but he's the best martial arts expert Detroit has to offer.

Chris: Oh, come on, Sarah, you mean you never realized Joe has feelings for you?

Gary Johnston: Oh, I get it. I'm supposed to let you put your finger in me then I suck your cock and get a movie role!

Lisa: I'm so confused!
Lisa: It's too early for me to be having feelings for you.
Gary Johnston: Maybe feelings are feelings because we can't control them.

Lisa: Promise me you'll never die.
Gary Johnston: You know I can't promise that.
Lisa: If you did that, I would make love to you right now.
Gary Johnston: I promise I'll never die.

Gary Johnston: Jesus, this is a nice limo.
Spottswoode: Yes, it is. Now suck my cock! Just kidding.

[repeated line]
Matt Damon: MATT DAMON!

song: [Song] America, fuck yeah! Comin' again to save the motherfucking day, yeah! / America, fuck yeah! Freedom is the only way, yeah! / Terrorists, your game is through, 'cause now you have to answer to / America, fuck yeah! So lick my butt and suck on my balls! / America, fuck yeah! What you gonna do when we come for you now!

Lisa: [to Gary] You had me at "dicks fuck assholes".

[last lines]
Lisa: Wait a minute! Look!
[a cockroach crawls out of Kim Jong-Il's mouth and towards a spaceship]
Kim Jong Il: You have not heard the rast of Kim Jong-Il! I will return! You shall see. I will be back!
[enters spaceship and launches out of the palace]
Kim Jong Il: So rong, Earthrings!
Gary Johnston: We'll be here waiting for you, Kim Jong-Il!
Chris: All right, you guys. I hate to break this little party, but there are still a lot of bad guys out there.
Gary Johnston: Well, then let's go show the bad guys the police are back in force.
Lisa: Fuck, yeah.
Gary Johnston: Fuck, yeah.

Kim Jong Il: Why is evawyrone so fuckin' stoopid?

Gary Johnston: We were all out at the zoo one day, I was doing some acting, walking on the railing of the gorilla exhibit. I fell in. Everyone screamed and Tommy jumped in after me, forgetting that he had blueberries in his front pocket. The gorillas just went wild. They jumped all over his body and threw him around like a rag doll to get to those blueberries. One gorilla would throw him to another gorilla who tossed him to another. Everyone panicked and cried out for somebody to help but it was too late. The gorillas beat him to death before the zookeepers could gas them all.

Alec Baldwin: By following the rules of the Film Actor's Guild, the world can become a better place; that handles dangerous people with talk, and reasoning; that, is the fag way. One day you'll all look at the world us actors created and say, "wow, good going, fag. You really made the world a better place, didntcha, fag?"

Tim Robbins: We're guarrrrrrrds!

Janeane Garofolo: As actors, it is our responsibility to read the newspapers, and then say what we read on television like it's our own opinion.

Clearly, some people don't always think particularly hard when devising domain names for their websites.

The following are real (and safe to open at work):-

1. 'Who Represents?' A company database for agencies to the rich and 
famous.
http://www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange. A knowledge base where programmers can exchange 
advice and views.
http://www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island...
http://www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try here.
http://www.therapistfinder.com

5. Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales. http://www.molestationnursery.com

6. Gas central heating anyone?
http://www.gasheating.co.uk

7. Powergen in italy...
http://www.powergenitalia.com